Are You an Isolationist?

I heard a story this week about a youth (I think she was 13 or 14) that lost her cell phone. As you might expect, she was very upset. While most adults would assume the youth was upset because she couldn't talk to her friends, she complained, "And now I can't text and I have to talk to my friends!"

This story brought back a statement by one of my grandsons while he was being treated for leukemia at age 15. Having lost his hair, which he usually wore very long, he was asked what he looked forward to when the treatment was finished. His answer was that he couldn't wait for his hair to grow long again so it would cover his eyes and he wouldn't have to look at anyone! He said, "When you make eye contact with someone, then you have to talk to them!"

Two boys, I'd say they are 17 or 18, use the running track at the the YMCA when my wife and I go for walks. Seeing one of them there for several weeks, we began to look at them in hopes of exchanging a smile. Passing within inches of them, neither would raise their eyes to look at us. Two other men that frequent the running track spend a great deal of time warming up for their run. I've made eye contact and smiled at them both only to watch them look away.

Walking through the streets of New York City on work assignments for many years, I've concluded it is a miracle when someone there makes eye contact! Walking in protective cocoons seems to be the norm. Understandably, there are reasons to protect one's self, in large cities and in small ones. I'm not sure, however, there are justifiable reasons to isolate ourselves from human interaction.

I realize this is the age of social networking on the internet. Facebook, You Tube, Twitter and a hundred other sites provide opportunities to be social. Internet dating sites allow people the opportunity to exchange information, exchange emails, and be social, all without first speaking to the other person face-to-face. This is how I see it. Technology has brought us ways to be alone in the midst of millions of people!

Admittedly, I'm not the most social person in the world. I think I was born an accountant. I'm good at putting my head down and turning out the work. I'm a good live seminar and webcast speaker because I've learned how to communicate effectively. I'm a good trainor because I've spent decades working in the trenches. Except for a few gatherings of long-time friends, I'd just as soon spend the evening in my easy chair.

Socializing face to face is work for me. For 17 years of my adult life, I was single and traveled 300 plus days a year. Essentially, I lived alone, in isolation. My contacts were always temporary. I did what I wanted when I wanted. I was free to live and do as I pleased. Much of society would applaud this as success today! I was miserable! I was so isolated, I'd go to a bar or the grocery store so I could at least be alone with people around me! This was not life, and I had to learn it the hard way!

I remember a verse of an old song, "People who need people are the most wonderful people in the world." Well, guess what! We need people, we need relationships, the face-to-face kind. All the internet sites that provide contacts with old and new friends are good, but there is more. Life is exchanged in groups and one-t0-one personal contact, even if we don't like some of the people!

So, where do you stand? Alone, aloof, apart? Or do you look into people's eyeballs and seek personal interaction? Even us old accountants need relationships! How about you?