Have You Received the Fruit of Your Labor?

This blog is for those of us that have tried our best to behave ethically and do right throughout our lifetimes and haven't been rewarded. We've served others in business, church and relationships but seem to end up on the short end of the stick. We've tried and tried to do right but what we wanted and expected didn't happen. We've cried out in our alone times, "Were is mine?" Some of us have become disillusioned and discouraged and even quit trying. If this is you, this blog is for you.

Here are a few things I've learned through some of these times. I've worked hard at everything I've undertaken in my life but failed a lot. My failures usually occurred not because I didn't do a good job but because I was doing the wrong job! A dog barking up the wrong tree as the old saying goes. Trying to be like other successful people doing something I thought I was to do often led me to the wrong place, or in some cases no place! Trying to perform and compete to be better than others caused me to be exhausted most of the time and not do my best. I worked hard to please and be accepted by others, which made my sense of failure worse when they didn't appreciate my performance. Driven by my heart motives, I was trying hard to get to the wrong place! I never received the fruit (rewards) of my labors. I failed to accomplished my goals in other words.

Because I was working hard and exhausted most of the time, I had little time to be quiet to hear the still, small voice inside me. Whether or not one believes in God or His creation, we are equipped with an inner sense, some people call it a voice, that is constantly trying to tell us the right thing to do. For those that have accepted Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior, that voice is recognized as the Holy Spirit of God. In any event, our inner sense, intuition or urging will direct us for good if we listen and follow it.

When my last major project failed, I actually gave up trying to do anything. I remember saying to God, "If there is anything left in my life for me to do, you have to open a door and bring it to me." It was only a few months until doors of opportunity that I had tried to push through in years past began to open...wide. I still had to do the work but it was work that was given to me, not something I had to perform to get. Since then there have been some difficult situations develop but as I trust Him to take me to my destiny I keep making progress.

Here is the bottom line. Jeremiah 29:ll says, "For I (God) know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you; plans to give you hope and a future." Hard for some of us to accept, but the Infinite (God) is greater than the finite (us). When I try to make my own way on my own strength, it's hard. When I cooperate with what God has given me, its easy because He is God and I'm not! Post a comment and share your story.

Are You Working Too Hard?

The purpose of this question is to cause us to focus on why and how we do things. Most of my life I've performed to get others to accept and like me, as well as to achieve my goals. I said I didn't care if they liked me but deep down I did. So, I endeavored to be the best at my work, tried to make others feel comfortable, tried to please my wife and friends and on and on.

I've always been goal-oriented. When I have a purpose before me, I usually spend 110% of my energy and time working towards an accomplishment. In fact, I usually work until I wear out!

This behavior fits with my upbringing, which could be defined as performance orientation. This has always been my subconscious reasoning: the harder I work, the greater the rewards or maybe the more others will like and respect me. It is true that hard work has its rewards but, for some of us, our thinking is rooted in "good boy, bad boy" (or girl) heart motives. When the reasons for performance moves from accomplishing an objective to satisfying dysfunctional needs, we push ourselves to the end of our strengths.

I've been blessed with some new and different work lately. Because I always want to do a good job, I've been working extra hard and long to do the new projects correctly. Planning to work this weekend, I awoke exhausted this morning. A different kind of wake-up call, this usually tells me I'm relying too much on my own strength to meet real or self-imposed deadlines and that I NEED REST!

I forget that when I have adequate rest, I am stronger both physically and mentally. God rested on the seventh day; we need to rest! We can usually accomplish more in less time than when we keep continually pushing ourselves towards a goal. When we slow down or stop for a day or so, we can recharge. Taking our focus off our work enables us to see more clearly how to get where we're going and what we need to change to get there.

Remember the old song? It was by Carly Simon I think:

"I can see clearly now, the rain is gone.
I can see all the obstacles in my way.
All the darkened clouds of gloom are gone.
It's gonna be a bright, bright sunshiny day!"

Try, Try and Try Again

I started a new direction in my training activities today with the launch of 15 weeks of webcasts. Having performed 5 0r 6 webcasts in the past, and having taught live seminars for over 30 years, I thought this would be a simple transition. While my debut was not bad, I failed to allocate time effectively and ended up very rushed to finish on time. This caused my listeners to feel they didn't receive complete coverage of my subject.

Perhaps you've been there. Thinking you could meet the requirements of a task, you finish to find out your performance was less than perfect. How we respond in these circumstances tells a lot about our progress to maturity. I'm still working on getting there!

I have known some who don't take criticism well. Being presented with information that indicates they are less than perfect, their reaction is often blame shifting, denial of facts and even anger. On the other hand, I've worked with many people who welcome constructive criticism and use it to improve.

In my younger years, I used to tell critics to keep their mouths shut. "I'm my own worst critic," I would say. That was probably true since my performance orientation always drove me to seek perfection. The truth is I did need the constructive criticism, and still do! My substandard performances still make me feel bad but, in my later years, I've learned to use the information to be better next time. Using the input of others as we try, try and try again not only helps us do a thing better, it is a mark of maturity.

Are you still trying? Post a comment and share your self-assessment!

If I Don't Toot My Horn No One Will

I spent most of my life trying to make my way. I was aggressive, self-confident and, frankly, prideful. I was proud of what I had accomplished and I was quick to tell you so. I believed that nothing good happened to me unless I made it happen. That worked well until one day I awoke to find all I thought I had slipped through my fingers into failure.

Not once but several times in my life I got caught up in what some call the rat race. None of those situations succeeded. While we should work hard to achieve our life goals, we must be aware that our original intent and purposes can take a back seat to satisfying our personal needs for achievement. This is the test of success!

Our achievements satisfy a need for recognition and acceptance inherent in many of us. It's much like a narcotic or alcohol; it makes us feel good and we want more! Soon, achieving becomes our goal instead of what we set out to do. Everything and everyone around us blurs as we set our sites on the next accomplishment.

People that behave as I once did aren't hard to spot. No matter what they say, every project, every relationship and every action is calculated to benefit themselves. Self-aggrandizement, self-promotion and self-centeredness are words that describe this behavior.

Sometimes this behavior is subtle and hard to spot. The person it controls is often at the center of the "now" thing, often is seen associating with higher ups and appears very popular. Many fail to discern the true heart motives of such persons and are caught up in the feigned enthusiasm and success of self-promoters only to be used and discarded. Once the ant enters the spider's web, only pain will follow!

Beware of the unethical behavior of the self-promoter! From such, flee! Post a comment and tell us about your experiences with such persons.

Are You Good at Self-Exhaltation?

I worked hard for years to sell myself in business, relationships and church. In all of these circumstances, I only felt accepted if my performance was what those over and around me expected or wanted. In fact, I was trained this way as a child. It was "good boy" when I did the right thing; "bad boy" when I didn't. When I messed up, I always tried to cover up, i.e., hide the mistake or attempt to make it seem trivial. All the while, I was selling myself to cover my perceived inadequacies.

On my first job in public accounting I made so many mistakes I was sure I'd be fired every afternoon. I remember the feelings of inadequacy when I went to work for an international CPA firm and received continual criticism for not performing up to expectations. In these and other circumstances, I worked harder, longer and faster than others to cover up my low self-esteem. I told everyone I was the best at what I did even though I didn't believe it! I was good at exalting myself over others.

Old habits are hard to break. My self-esteem has improved through the years as I actually became good at the things I do. Doing things for recognition has given way to learning to be who God made me to be. But the child inside me sometimes still wants to sell himself to be accepted. I has become such a life pattern that I sometimes do it without realizing what I'm doing. For example, someone in one of my recent seminars was offended because they felt my introduction and other comments were self-aggrandizing. This person may have been right because I did what I always do!

I'm very critical of others that exalt themselves, particularly those in leadership positions. It's taken me a long time to understand that, when I perceive the behavior of others in a negative light, God is probably holding up a mirror to my face! The Bible says in Luke 18:14, "...for everyone who exalts himself will be abased, and he who humbles himself will be exalted." The truth is self-exaltation is pride. Pride is the opposite of humility. Pride blocks our success. Humility makes the way for us to be all we can be! More on the power of humility in a future post. Post a comment and share your story!