What Do You See When You Look at Others?

At the end of each seminar I teach, participants prepare an evaluation of their perception of my performance. In each seminar, some of the comments have nothing to do with learning but, instead, are criticisms of my personal mannerisms, tone of voice or appearance. Most of these criticisms are totally opposite of the majority but I've often wondered what could motivate these comments.

In the seminar business there are a lot of variables. Most attend to learn but some come to be entertained, some attend because they are required to and others because of convenience. Their reasons for attending, the quality of text materials and slides and the quality of the facility shape some of their opinions of the experience. This rarely explains, however, why some seem compelled to write personal criticisms.

I used to criticize others because it made me feel superior. Sometimes I did it out of ignorance and other times it was purposeful. Most times it was because I saw in others what I disliked in myself! I disliked many people because they were much like me!

Maybe you've heard the saying, "We like to judge others because of their behavior but want others to judge us based on our intentions." That was (and still sometimes is) me! Several years ago when I was head usher at a church, a woman attended whose behavior was bizarre. After several months of trying to love her as Christians are directed to do, my wife and I talked to our pastor about her behavior and questioned why he hadn't corrected her. Our pastor listened to our criticism and then asked us some piercing questions. "What do you know about her and her background?" "Have you invited her to your home or some of your social events?" "Do you have any idea of why she behaves in these ways?" Slinking out his office door, we realized we had been judging this person simply be what she did and said, not by who she really was.

I read an article by Rick Joyner (www.morningstarministries.org) recently in which he encouraged readers to see others as God sees them. He explained that God sees us, not as we are, but as who and what we can become. God's ways are different than ours, but we can change! How we see others contributes to who they become! Try it sometime!