Jim Chosa, a Crow Indian by marriage, has written a chronology on how the Crow Tribe grooms male children to become warriors. Here is what I remember.
The story begins with a 5 year old boy sleeping with his parents in a tent one cold, snowy morning. The boy awakes as someone grabs his ankle and begins to drag him through the snow towards the river. The boy next feels his body catapulting through the air, landing in the river and the beginning of his battle for survival!
Training their young boys to be warriors meant survival for a Crow family and their tribe. The family hired the best warrior they could find as a mentor for their son. The boy was taught skills for survival, for battle and for living a humble, others-centered life.
Around the age of 13, he was sent into the wilderness with no food, no clothes and no weapons on his "quest." Instructed to lay face down in a clearing, he could not move until he received his "vision" from the Great Spirit. Even when approached by a bear or mountain lion, he was forbidden to move but, instead, to trust a power higher than himself. Only after successfully completing this experience could the young warrior begin to pursue his calling.
When he was ready, he was permitted to accompany his mentor into battle. Only when he had proven his abilities, and when he had learned to delight in his purpose, was he permitted to enter the battle alone.
When he was victorious in his first hand-to-hand conflict, a coup they called it, he was awarded a feather for his head band. Surrounded by family and friends, he learned how to share his victory humbly and to appreciate those that "stayed with the stuff!"
The Crow don't train warriors any more and some of their men will tell you they've lost their purpose. Each of us has been created for a unique purpose. Like the Crow warrior, our life experiences have been our training. I'll be 68 soon and finally began to realize my life purpose! I'm delighting in it! It's never too late.
How about you? Have you found your purpose? There is a warrior inside of you!
Saturday, April 17, 2010
Saturday, April 10, 2010
Becoming Who We Are
Like most of us, my personal goal in life has been to be better when I finish than when I started. I've told my seminar participants many times that instead of a detailed life plan, my desire is just to keep my learning curve up. Actually, I want to keep obtaining knowledge that can be applied to business and life circumstances. Through this process my hope is that I continue to grow in wisdom and character.
As noble as this may sound, without understanding of who and what I am it is doubtful I will end up where I'm supposed to be. It's a little like driving my car as I get older; taking my eyes off the road for just a few seconds can quickly take me where I'm looking! Each of us has a special destiny that can only be obtained if we know where we are going. Understanding who we are is a key to getting to where we are going!
Who am I? Here is my brief synopsis. I have a body, a soul (a mind, will and emotions) and a spirit (a conscience and intuition). My mind has a brain which translates thoughts into action through my body. My soul accumulates life experiences which produces thoughts patterned after those experiences. My spirit checks the behavior of my soul when my thoughts and actions are not good by making me feel guilty. The combination of my soul and spirit becomes my heart, or my center from which all thought, emotions, behavior and actions emanate. I've got all this equipment so I must have purpose! I mean, I'm already something so what am I to become?
Many of us are continually trying to change because we don't like who we are. Sometimes we don't even like other people when they are like we are! If we are trying to change ourselves, it begs the question, "Who are we supposed to be?"
We often work so hard trying to find what we are to do that we sometimes don't get around to finding out who we are supposed to be or to become. I worked 60-70 hours a week for most of my career trying to become something, to find my way to the top of the pile so to speak. It only got me tired! Only when I stopped trying to do did I begin to be!
Careful! I'm not advocating taking up space on a park bench for years to explore the mysteries of the universe in our minds. I'm simply saying that when we spend our daily lives operating at warp speed, we can miss the signposts leading us to who we are to become. It's been said that we were created as human beings, not human doings!
So, how can we find our way to who we should become? For me, it is an ongoing process of separating myself from the thinking and reasoning that continually goes on in my mind, at least for brief periods of time. A life pattern for me, my mind rarely can be turned off. I'm constantly planning, mulling over past events or thinking about what I'm going to do. As most will agree, our business and personal lives must include a certain amount of these activities. The problem surfaces, however, when we are consumed and controlled by the activities of our minds. Our minds often control us instead of us using our minds to accomplish our purposes!
As I shared in the opening paragraph, scientists, theologians, and most religious doctrines agree that we are three part beings. We have a body, a soul and an inner being. Our bodies and souls are connected to the world around us; our inner being is connected to something else (for me it's God). If I've learned anything by living, it's that lasting change must begin on the inside. I can make changes in my behavior and actions in my mind but life's pressures often destroy my good intentions. One person shared, "We're like a tube of toothpaste. When we're squeezed, what's on the inside comes out!"
Here's what some of us have learned: we are helpless to change the things in our hearts. We can make changes in our behavior, but it is rare for those changes to last for a lifetime. Whether it's getting angry at an incompetent store clerk, impatient with a client, irritated at a family member or worse things, I sometimes don't do a good job of controlling my reactions. I want to be free of the offense that rises up in me to react rationally and in a way that will benefit others. Controlling my reactions caused by hurts and wounds deep in my heart is impossible for me. The good news is that it's not impossible for God! What do you think?
As noble as this may sound, without understanding of who and what I am it is doubtful I will end up where I'm supposed to be. It's a little like driving my car as I get older; taking my eyes off the road for just a few seconds can quickly take me where I'm looking! Each of us has a special destiny that can only be obtained if we know where we are going. Understanding who we are is a key to getting to where we are going!
Who am I? Here is my brief synopsis. I have a body, a soul (a mind, will and emotions) and a spirit (a conscience and intuition). My mind has a brain which translates thoughts into action through my body. My soul accumulates life experiences which produces thoughts patterned after those experiences. My spirit checks the behavior of my soul when my thoughts and actions are not good by making me feel guilty. The combination of my soul and spirit becomes my heart, or my center from which all thought, emotions, behavior and actions emanate. I've got all this equipment so I must have purpose! I mean, I'm already something so what am I to become?
Many of us are continually trying to change because we don't like who we are. Sometimes we don't even like other people when they are like we are! If we are trying to change ourselves, it begs the question, "Who are we supposed to be?"
We often work so hard trying to find what we are to do that we sometimes don't get around to finding out who we are supposed to be or to become. I worked 60-70 hours a week for most of my career trying to become something, to find my way to the top of the pile so to speak. It only got me tired! Only when I stopped trying to do did I begin to be!
Careful! I'm not advocating taking up space on a park bench for years to explore the mysteries of the universe in our minds. I'm simply saying that when we spend our daily lives operating at warp speed, we can miss the signposts leading us to who we are to become. It's been said that we were created as human beings, not human doings!
So, how can we find our way to who we should become? For me, it is an ongoing process of separating myself from the thinking and reasoning that continually goes on in my mind, at least for brief periods of time. A life pattern for me, my mind rarely can be turned off. I'm constantly planning, mulling over past events or thinking about what I'm going to do. As most will agree, our business and personal lives must include a certain amount of these activities. The problem surfaces, however, when we are consumed and controlled by the activities of our minds. Our minds often control us instead of us using our minds to accomplish our purposes!
As I shared in the opening paragraph, scientists, theologians, and most religious doctrines agree that we are three part beings. We have a body, a soul and an inner being. Our bodies and souls are connected to the world around us; our inner being is connected to something else (for me it's God). If I've learned anything by living, it's that lasting change must begin on the inside. I can make changes in my behavior and actions in my mind but life's pressures often destroy my good intentions. One person shared, "We're like a tube of toothpaste. When we're squeezed, what's on the inside comes out!"
Here's what some of us have learned: we are helpless to change the things in our hearts. We can make changes in our behavior, but it is rare for those changes to last for a lifetime. Whether it's getting angry at an incompetent store clerk, impatient with a client, irritated at a family member or worse things, I sometimes don't do a good job of controlling my reactions. I want to be free of the offense that rises up in me to react rationally and in a way that will benefit others. Controlling my reactions caused by hurts and wounds deep in my heart is impossible for me. The good news is that it's not impossible for God! What do you think?
Saturday, April 3, 2010
Got Respect?
I remember a sound bite from a Rodney Dangerfield monologue that went something like, "I ain't got no respect." Most of us desire respect and recognition from others. Often in our society, we're looking for recognition for what we do. Not many will admit this but our achievements are often more for our own benefit than they are for the benefit of those we serve, like our employers, clients, family and friends. Wanting to achieve isn't wrong, but there is more to the story.
When I started my career, my objective was to be the best at what I did. Throughout the years, I always worked to be number one although I failed many times. I wanted to be recognized for what I achieved. Although I didn't realize it at the time, my desire to achieve came from a source of low self-esteem and deep feelings of inadequacy. Achievement was for my benefit, mine alone.
Only in my later years did I realize that real achievement comes from serving others well. When we lay aside our human needs for recognition and respect and focus on serving others in our work and personal lives, we get respect for who we are, not just what we do.
I've often observed the crew of the garbage truck that serves our home. When temperatures are freezing, they ride on the back of that truck and eagerly pick up my trash. In sweltering heat, they carefully pick up each piece of garbage that accidentally falls to the ground. If I forget to put the garbage out, they cheerfully ring my doorbell and remind me. I have great respect for who these men are!
Now it's time for some introspection. Here are some questions that are key to getting respect from others. Try to answer these questions as honestly as you can:
1. When other people tell you about what they're doing in their work or personal lives, are you more interested in their circumstances or yours? 2. When your serve others, is your focus more on what you get out of it or on how your service benefits them? 3. In your work, your church projects or chatting with a neighbor over the fence, are you concerned more about them or about you? 4. Do you spend more time thinking about yourself than about others? 5. When visiting with co-workers, family or friends, do you spend more time talking about yourself than you do listening to them? 6. When trying to get others to change bad behavior, do you see things from their point of view or do you throw the book of rules at them? 7. Do you consider yourself better than others?
I don't know about you, but I have a long way to go! If you dare, post a comment and tell readers how you did!
When I started my career, my objective was to be the best at what I did. Throughout the years, I always worked to be number one although I failed many times. I wanted to be recognized for what I achieved. Although I didn't realize it at the time, my desire to achieve came from a source of low self-esteem and deep feelings of inadequacy. Achievement was for my benefit, mine alone.
Only in my later years did I realize that real achievement comes from serving others well. When we lay aside our human needs for recognition and respect and focus on serving others in our work and personal lives, we get respect for who we are, not just what we do.
I've often observed the crew of the garbage truck that serves our home. When temperatures are freezing, they ride on the back of that truck and eagerly pick up my trash. In sweltering heat, they carefully pick up each piece of garbage that accidentally falls to the ground. If I forget to put the garbage out, they cheerfully ring my doorbell and remind me. I have great respect for who these men are!
Now it's time for some introspection. Here are some questions that are key to getting respect from others. Try to answer these questions as honestly as you can:
1. When other people tell you about what they're doing in their work or personal lives, are you more interested in their circumstances or yours? 2. When your serve others, is your focus more on what you get out of it or on how your service benefits them? 3. In your work, your church projects or chatting with a neighbor over the fence, are you concerned more about them or about you? 4. Do you spend more time thinking about yourself than about others? 5. When visiting with co-workers, family or friends, do you spend more time talking about yourself than you do listening to them? 6. When trying to get others to change bad behavior, do you see things from their point of view or do you throw the book of rules at them? 7. Do you consider yourself better than others?
I don't know about you, but I have a long way to go! If you dare, post a comment and tell readers how you did!
Saturday, March 27, 2010
The Good Humor Man
When I was a kid, the ice cream truck would drive through our neighborhood several time each summer day. The driver was called "The Good Humor Man." I don't ever remember being sad when I gave him my nickel for ice cream on a stick! The Good Humor Man made me smile.
The man in the ice cream truck didn't do much to get me to smile, just drive by and take my nickel. He didn't tell me funny stories, try to get me to laugh or even laugh himself. By his presence and by providing something I liked very much, he brought joy to my life.
Good humor, joy, prevents hardening of the arteries so to speak. Joy brings life to our mind, to our will and to our emotions, especially in hard times.
That ice cream on a stick brought me joy but it disappeared quickly. After a few minutes savoring the ice cream, I had to begin looking for other things to bring me joy, or at least what I thought was joy. A new bike, cap pistols, candy and other things were on my list.
As I grew older I continued to search for things that made me happy. Alcohol, work and fleeting affairs replaced the ice cream on a stick. But like the ice cream, the joy I thought they brought disappeared quickly.
When I was 45, I finally realized there was only one sure source of joy in my life, His name is Jesus Christ. Don't get me wrong, life didn't suddenly turn into a rose garden! Like a small child, I had to learn how to tap into the resources we can have in Him. I'm still learning but I know we can have joy unspeakable that is everlasting! We can have good humor by One Man and it doesn't cost a nickel!
The man in the ice cream truck didn't do much to get me to smile, just drive by and take my nickel. He didn't tell me funny stories, try to get me to laugh or even laugh himself. By his presence and by providing something I liked very much, he brought joy to my life.
Good humor, joy, prevents hardening of the arteries so to speak. Joy brings life to our mind, to our will and to our emotions, especially in hard times.
That ice cream on a stick brought me joy but it disappeared quickly. After a few minutes savoring the ice cream, I had to begin looking for other things to bring me joy, or at least what I thought was joy. A new bike, cap pistols, candy and other things were on my list.
As I grew older I continued to search for things that made me happy. Alcohol, work and fleeting affairs replaced the ice cream on a stick. But like the ice cream, the joy I thought they brought disappeared quickly.
When I was 45, I finally realized there was only one sure source of joy in my life, His name is Jesus Christ. Don't get me wrong, life didn't suddenly turn into a rose garden! Like a small child, I had to learn how to tap into the resources we can have in Him. I'm still learning but I know we can have joy unspeakable that is everlasting! We can have good humor by One Man and it doesn't cost a nickel!
Saturday, March 20, 2010
How Do You "Know?"
In my last blog, I wrote about our propensity to be right, even at the cost of lying and deceiving others. Today we'll drill a little deeper; we'll focus on why some of us can't help ourselves!
The key can be found in the word "perceive." The American Dictionary of the English Language (Webster's 1828 Edition) offers these definitions: "To know; to understand; to observe" and "To have knowledge or receive impressions of external objects through the medium or instrumentality of the senses or bodily organs." The underlying question is how do we "know" something?
Scientific studies have shown our senses filter through our brains. Smells, tastes, sounds often trigger memories of past events in our lives. Our brains store information that, when remembered, can direct the actions of our bodies as well as our emotions. Interestingly, The Heart Math Institute has conducted scientific studies that show our hearts have certain memory capabilities that may be comparable to our brains! In fact, some of their studies have shown the heart is the primary organ controlling our actions and reactions. If we can accept this research, we realize we can "know" in our minds and "know" in our hearts.
So, to the root of the problem. We can easily access our minds for the information stored in our brains. Only a small percentage of mankind can perceive what is in their hearts. The result is we rely mostly on the information stored in our minds to conduct our lives. This information is "what we believe." Unfortunately, we think what we believe in our minds is who we are and it becomes our identity. As human beings, we will defend our identity (our belief systems) at any cost, even lying and deceiving others. When we "have made our minds up" we are no longer open to hearing new information and to sensing our heart reactions.
When we operate out of only what we know in our minds, we are simply "carnal man." Webster defines carnal as being in the natural state, unregenerate, lecherous, lustful and given to sensual indulgence. What we think is right in our minds may not be! The only truth is what we can find in our hearts where we can hear the still, small voice of God. In an old New Jerusalem Translation of the Bible, Proverbs 3:5-8 states it this way: "Trust wholeheartedly in Yahweh, put no faith in your own perception; in every course you take, have him in mind: he will see that your paths are smooth."
The key can be found in the word "perceive." The American Dictionary of the English Language (Webster's 1828 Edition) offers these definitions: "To know; to understand; to observe" and "To have knowledge or receive impressions of external objects through the medium or instrumentality of the senses or bodily organs." The underlying question is how do we "know" something?
Scientific studies have shown our senses filter through our brains. Smells, tastes, sounds often trigger memories of past events in our lives. Our brains store information that, when remembered, can direct the actions of our bodies as well as our emotions. Interestingly, The Heart Math Institute has conducted scientific studies that show our hearts have certain memory capabilities that may be comparable to our brains! In fact, some of their studies have shown the heart is the primary organ controlling our actions and reactions. If we can accept this research, we realize we can "know" in our minds and "know" in our hearts.
So, to the root of the problem. We can easily access our minds for the information stored in our brains. Only a small percentage of mankind can perceive what is in their hearts. The result is we rely mostly on the information stored in our minds to conduct our lives. This information is "what we believe." Unfortunately, we think what we believe in our minds is who we are and it becomes our identity. As human beings, we will defend our identity (our belief systems) at any cost, even lying and deceiving others. When we "have made our minds up" we are no longer open to hearing new information and to sensing our heart reactions.
When we operate out of only what we know in our minds, we are simply "carnal man." Webster defines carnal as being in the natural state, unregenerate, lecherous, lustful and given to sensual indulgence. What we think is right in our minds may not be! The only truth is what we can find in our hearts where we can hear the still, small voice of God. In an old New Jerusalem Translation of the Bible, Proverbs 3:5-8 states it this way: "Trust wholeheartedly in Yahweh, put no faith in your own perception; in every course you take, have him in mind: he will see that your paths are smooth."
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Are We Becoming a Nation of Liars and Deceivers?
I'm fed up with the politics of compromise, deal-making, party agendas, hypocrisy, lies and deception. The art of politics has become never answering "yes" or "no" to a question. Party lines have divided this country and each of us, our children and grandchildren will pay financially, morally and socially...unless our "blinders" are removed.
I think it was Hitler who said, "Tell a lie long enough and the people will believe it as the truth." Sad to say, but the perceptions of many people of this nation has become their truth. Politicians, business leaders, news reporters, ministers, blue collar workers and, yes, even you and me, have made our perceptions our god.
Attending a church that split years ago, I witnessed the offense of the senior pastor produce lies about the circumstances in his later books. He believed his perception to be truth. He has no pulpit now.
I observed the president of a developing company nearly destroy it because he perceived anyone with different perceptions to be his enemy. His life became a lie. His bad life experiences were his truth and he feared that these experiences would be repeated. What he greatly feared has now come upon him and he is about to lose that which he created.
CEOs of investment funds, state attorney generals, senators and members of congress, pastors of large churches, White House press secretaries, presidents, treasury secretaries have lied and deceived the public. For some, there appear to be no consequences on earth; for others there are.
But it's easy to be "the pot calling the kettle black." It's easy for me to defend my perceptions by pointing at the faults of others. The question I have to ask frequently of myself is "What is my reason for offense?" Is it about me or them? My reasons should be more about the future and well-being of others than about my being offended by their behavior. My motives should be to see their lives changed for the better, not my being right.
A few minutes ago, I received a call from someone about an old situation in which I confronted a liar and deceiver. I realized I had given up on the person's behavior ever changing and that I just wanted him punished! Here's the truth: God's ways are not ours! He has made a way for the worst to be made clean through Jesus Christ! After all, He saved a wretch like me!
I think it was Hitler who said, "Tell a lie long enough and the people will believe it as the truth." Sad to say, but the perceptions of many people of this nation has become their truth. Politicians, business leaders, news reporters, ministers, blue collar workers and, yes, even you and me, have made our perceptions our god.
Attending a church that split years ago, I witnessed the offense of the senior pastor produce lies about the circumstances in his later books. He believed his perception to be truth. He has no pulpit now.
I observed the president of a developing company nearly destroy it because he perceived anyone with different perceptions to be his enemy. His life became a lie. His bad life experiences were his truth and he feared that these experiences would be repeated. What he greatly feared has now come upon him and he is about to lose that which he created.
CEOs of investment funds, state attorney generals, senators and members of congress, pastors of large churches, White House press secretaries, presidents, treasury secretaries have lied and deceived the public. For some, there appear to be no consequences on earth; for others there are.
But it's easy to be "the pot calling the kettle black." It's easy for me to defend my perceptions by pointing at the faults of others. The question I have to ask frequently of myself is "What is my reason for offense?" Is it about me or them? My reasons should be more about the future and well-being of others than about my being offended by their behavior. My motives should be to see their lives changed for the better, not my being right.
A few minutes ago, I received a call from someone about an old situation in which I confronted a liar and deceiver. I realized I had given up on the person's behavior ever changing and that I just wanted him punished! Here's the truth: God's ways are not ours! He has made a way for the worst to be made clean through Jesus Christ! After all, He saved a wretch like me!
Saturday, March 6, 2010
Why Can't I Do What I Want To Do?
Don't you want to be better person? I don't mean that we're bad people, but that we desire to grow and develop our character. Do you like who you are? I like me a lot more now than I did 40 years ago! Do you have a list of things you'd like changed? Here are a few of mine:
Sin dwelling in us! Not me! How about you? This is the reason we need a Savior! We can't accomplish lasting changes in our character by our own strength. Change begins on the inside, not the outside. Only Jesus Christ can change our hearts!
- I can still get angry when offended. Clear thinking doesn't result from anger! I'd like to rise above anger.
- I don't like traditional approaches to anything. Maybe because I'm an auditor, or because of my rigid upbringing, I challenge everything. I'd like to be able to accept some things.
- My love and respect for others is conditional. Behave badly and I'll judge you. I have no right to do that. Hurt me and I want to hurt you back.
- Justify yourself like I used to, or like how I still want to, and I can tell you what's wrong with your life! That's called pride.
- I can't identify very well with the needs of others. I have a mental understanding but I don't often feel much empathy. I'd like to put the needs of others first.
Sin dwelling in us! Not me! How about you? This is the reason we need a Savior! We can't accomplish lasting changes in our character by our own strength. Change begins on the inside, not the outside. Only Jesus Christ can change our hearts!
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