As chaos erupts around the world, as the economy teeters on the brink of collapse, as politicians try to win favor with only their words, and as spiritual darkness permeates every sector of society, who can be trusted? How can we know who is deserving of our trust? We'll briefly explore these issues in this blog.
Webster's New World Dictionary defines trust:
"Firm belief or confidence in the honesty, integrity, reliability, justice, etc. of another person or thing; faith; reliance."
A starting point for this discussion would be to ask is a person "trustworthy." Applying Webster's definition would indicate that persons are trustworthy when they are honest, have integrity and are reliable. Most of us would agree this means that a person will tell the truth, not just most of the time but all the time. It would mean the person demonstrates integrity by what they say and do. It would mean one could rely on what a person says because they say what they mean and mean what they say! To shorten the thought, we can know whether a person is trustworthy by the demonstration of their character.
If one purchases a bottle of water that is certified to be 99.44% spring water and .56% sewage, would it be considered drinkable? Certainly not! Yet our evaluation of the character of politicians, business leaders and even church leaders doesn't seem to be affected if they "spin" the truth, if what they do is primarily for the purpose of enriching or aggrandizing themselves or if it is primarily for the purpose of accomplishing their political or personal agenda.
One might question at this point whether anyone can be considered trustworthy. No human being is perfect and most of us realize that perfection is not a mark of character. Character emanates from within, i.e., whatever is in our heart. Our personal experiences, desires, motives and beliefs shape our character. Our character usually changes throughout life, for better or for worse!
The Holy Bible, in Proverbs 4:23 and 4:24, says:
"Keep (guard) your heart with all diligence, for out of it spring the issues of life. Put away from you a deceitful mouth, and put perverse lips far from you."
I could interpret this verse as, "Keep honesty, integrity and good character in your heart. Don't deviate from these things, no matter what the cost. Don't speak false, deceitful words or half-truths because they will fill your heart and diminish your character."
1 Timothy 4:1 and 4:2 supports these truths. "Now the Spirit expressly says that in latter times some will depart from the faith, giving heed to deceiving spirits and doctrines of demons, speaking lies in hypocrisy, having their own conscience seared with a hot iron..."
So, here's the bottom line. The character of man is demonstrated by what he/she does and says. Trust can be earned in this way or the true nature of a person can be revealed. The character of a person should tell us if they are trustworthy. Only a fool would place trust in a person that is not trustworthy! Who do you trust?
Showing posts with label The Behavior of Man. Show all posts
Showing posts with label The Behavior of Man. Show all posts
Saturday, September 11, 2010
Saturday, June 5, 2010
Have We Become a Nation of Accusers?
Most of us would quickly answer this question "yes." Whether it is big business, big government, big politics, big media or just big egos, it seems the way to the top in any endeavor is through accusation. Even an answer to this question sounds like an accusation!
To accuse, Webster says, is to find fault or blame, or to bring charges against for doing wrong. Obviously, without accusation there could be no system of jurisprudence. When laws are broken, accusations are in order! Beyond the law, what determines an appropriate accusation (if there is such a thing!)?
Back to our definition, accusation is based on wrong doing. Wrong doing in politics has become any thought or action contrary to a party line. In our personal lives, it is often the belief systems of others that differ from ours. The real question is, do these circumstances justify finding fault, blaming or charging others with wrong.
When a law is broken, a person adjudicates the violation; this person is called a judge. Our constitution established the judicial branch to interpret laws. What happens when there is no appointed judge?
When there is no appointed judge, every man does what is right in his own eyes. We become the accuser and the judge!
In America, much of public life is built on the principle of accusation. A way to avoid being accountable for our own shortcomings is to accuse others. Our president, congressional leaders, heads of business and even religious leaders have become masters of this principle to little beneficial end.
The Bible says we are to encourage one another, to bear the burdens of others and even to love our enemies! Why do you suppose? Could it be that unity brings success, even power over opposition? I struggle to do my part. How about you?
To accuse, Webster says, is to find fault or blame, or to bring charges against for doing wrong. Obviously, without accusation there could be no system of jurisprudence. When laws are broken, accusations are in order! Beyond the law, what determines an appropriate accusation (if there is such a thing!)?
Back to our definition, accusation is based on wrong doing. Wrong doing in politics has become any thought or action contrary to a party line. In our personal lives, it is often the belief systems of others that differ from ours. The real question is, do these circumstances justify finding fault, blaming or charging others with wrong.
When a law is broken, a person adjudicates the violation; this person is called a judge. Our constitution established the judicial branch to interpret laws. What happens when there is no appointed judge?
When there is no appointed judge, every man does what is right in his own eyes. We become the accuser and the judge!
In America, much of public life is built on the principle of accusation. A way to avoid being accountable for our own shortcomings is to accuse others. Our president, congressional leaders, heads of business and even religious leaders have become masters of this principle to little beneficial end.
The Bible says we are to encourage one another, to bear the burdens of others and even to love our enemies! Why do you suppose? Could it be that unity brings success, even power over opposition? I struggle to do my part. How about you?
Saturday, April 10, 2010
Becoming Who We Are
Like most of us, my personal goal in life has been to be better when I finish than when I started. I've told my seminar participants many times that instead of a detailed life plan, my desire is just to keep my learning curve up. Actually, I want to keep obtaining knowledge that can be applied to business and life circumstances. Through this process my hope is that I continue to grow in wisdom and character.
As noble as this may sound, without understanding of who and what I am it is doubtful I will end up where I'm supposed to be. It's a little like driving my car as I get older; taking my eyes off the road for just a few seconds can quickly take me where I'm looking! Each of us has a special destiny that can only be obtained if we know where we are going. Understanding who we are is a key to getting to where we are going!
Who am I? Here is my brief synopsis. I have a body, a soul (a mind, will and emotions) and a spirit (a conscience and intuition). My mind has a brain which translates thoughts into action through my body. My soul accumulates life experiences which produces thoughts patterned after those experiences. My spirit checks the behavior of my soul when my thoughts and actions are not good by making me feel guilty. The combination of my soul and spirit becomes my heart, or my center from which all thought, emotions, behavior and actions emanate. I've got all this equipment so I must have purpose! I mean, I'm already something so what am I to become?
Many of us are continually trying to change because we don't like who we are. Sometimes we don't even like other people when they are like we are! If we are trying to change ourselves, it begs the question, "Who are we supposed to be?"
We often work so hard trying to find what we are to do that we sometimes don't get around to finding out who we are supposed to be or to become. I worked 60-70 hours a week for most of my career trying to become something, to find my way to the top of the pile so to speak. It only got me tired! Only when I stopped trying to do did I begin to be!
Careful! I'm not advocating taking up space on a park bench for years to explore the mysteries of the universe in our minds. I'm simply saying that when we spend our daily lives operating at warp speed, we can miss the signposts leading us to who we are to become. It's been said that we were created as human beings, not human doings!
So, how can we find our way to who we should become? For me, it is an ongoing process of separating myself from the thinking and reasoning that continually goes on in my mind, at least for brief periods of time. A life pattern for me, my mind rarely can be turned off. I'm constantly planning, mulling over past events or thinking about what I'm going to do. As most will agree, our business and personal lives must include a certain amount of these activities. The problem surfaces, however, when we are consumed and controlled by the activities of our minds. Our minds often control us instead of us using our minds to accomplish our purposes!
As I shared in the opening paragraph, scientists, theologians, and most religious doctrines agree that we are three part beings. We have a body, a soul and an inner being. Our bodies and souls are connected to the world around us; our inner being is connected to something else (for me it's God). If I've learned anything by living, it's that lasting change must begin on the inside. I can make changes in my behavior and actions in my mind but life's pressures often destroy my good intentions. One person shared, "We're like a tube of toothpaste. When we're squeezed, what's on the inside comes out!"
Here's what some of us have learned: we are helpless to change the things in our hearts. We can make changes in our behavior, but it is rare for those changes to last for a lifetime. Whether it's getting angry at an incompetent store clerk, impatient with a client, irritated at a family member or worse things, I sometimes don't do a good job of controlling my reactions. I want to be free of the offense that rises up in me to react rationally and in a way that will benefit others. Controlling my reactions caused by hurts and wounds deep in my heart is impossible for me. The good news is that it's not impossible for God! What do you think?
As noble as this may sound, without understanding of who and what I am it is doubtful I will end up where I'm supposed to be. It's a little like driving my car as I get older; taking my eyes off the road for just a few seconds can quickly take me where I'm looking! Each of us has a special destiny that can only be obtained if we know where we are going. Understanding who we are is a key to getting to where we are going!
Who am I? Here is my brief synopsis. I have a body, a soul (a mind, will and emotions) and a spirit (a conscience and intuition). My mind has a brain which translates thoughts into action through my body. My soul accumulates life experiences which produces thoughts patterned after those experiences. My spirit checks the behavior of my soul when my thoughts and actions are not good by making me feel guilty. The combination of my soul and spirit becomes my heart, or my center from which all thought, emotions, behavior and actions emanate. I've got all this equipment so I must have purpose! I mean, I'm already something so what am I to become?
Many of us are continually trying to change because we don't like who we are. Sometimes we don't even like other people when they are like we are! If we are trying to change ourselves, it begs the question, "Who are we supposed to be?"
We often work so hard trying to find what we are to do that we sometimes don't get around to finding out who we are supposed to be or to become. I worked 60-70 hours a week for most of my career trying to become something, to find my way to the top of the pile so to speak. It only got me tired! Only when I stopped trying to do did I begin to be!
Careful! I'm not advocating taking up space on a park bench for years to explore the mysteries of the universe in our minds. I'm simply saying that when we spend our daily lives operating at warp speed, we can miss the signposts leading us to who we are to become. It's been said that we were created as human beings, not human doings!
So, how can we find our way to who we should become? For me, it is an ongoing process of separating myself from the thinking and reasoning that continually goes on in my mind, at least for brief periods of time. A life pattern for me, my mind rarely can be turned off. I'm constantly planning, mulling over past events or thinking about what I'm going to do. As most will agree, our business and personal lives must include a certain amount of these activities. The problem surfaces, however, when we are consumed and controlled by the activities of our minds. Our minds often control us instead of us using our minds to accomplish our purposes!
As I shared in the opening paragraph, scientists, theologians, and most religious doctrines agree that we are three part beings. We have a body, a soul and an inner being. Our bodies and souls are connected to the world around us; our inner being is connected to something else (for me it's God). If I've learned anything by living, it's that lasting change must begin on the inside. I can make changes in my behavior and actions in my mind but life's pressures often destroy my good intentions. One person shared, "We're like a tube of toothpaste. When we're squeezed, what's on the inside comes out!"
Here's what some of us have learned: we are helpless to change the things in our hearts. We can make changes in our behavior, but it is rare for those changes to last for a lifetime. Whether it's getting angry at an incompetent store clerk, impatient with a client, irritated at a family member or worse things, I sometimes don't do a good job of controlling my reactions. I want to be free of the offense that rises up in me to react rationally and in a way that will benefit others. Controlling my reactions caused by hurts and wounds deep in my heart is impossible for me. The good news is that it's not impossible for God! What do you think?
Saturday, December 19, 2009
What Do You See When You Look at Others?
At the end of each seminar I teach, participants prepare an evaluation of their perception of my performance. In each seminar, some of the comments have nothing to do with learning but, instead, are criticisms of my personal mannerisms, tone of voice or appearance. Most of these criticisms are totally opposite of the majority but I've often wondered what could motivate these comments.
In the seminar business there are a lot of variables. Most attend to learn but some come to be entertained, some attend because they are required to and others because of convenience. Their reasons for attending, the quality of text materials and slides and the quality of the facility shape some of their opinions of the experience. This rarely explains, however, why some seem compelled to write personal criticisms.
I used to criticize others because it made me feel superior. Sometimes I did it out of ignorance and other times it was purposeful. Most times it was because I saw in others what I disliked in myself! I disliked many people because they were much like me!
Maybe you've heard the saying, "We like to judge others because of their behavior but want others to judge us based on our intentions." That was (and still sometimes is) me! Several years ago when I was head usher at a church, a woman attended whose behavior was bizarre. After several months of trying to love her as Christians are directed to do, my wife and I talked to our pastor about her behavior and questioned why he hadn't corrected her. Our pastor listened to our criticism and then asked us some piercing questions. "What do you know about her and her background?" "Have you invited her to your home or some of your social events?" "Do you have any idea of why she behaves in these ways?" Slinking out his office door, we realized we had been judging this person simply be what she did and said, not by who she really was.
I read an article by Rick Joyner (www.morningstarministries.org) recently in which he encouraged readers to see others as God sees them. He explained that God sees us, not as we are, but as who and what we can become. God's ways are different than ours, but we can change! How we see others contributes to who they become! Try it sometime!
In the seminar business there are a lot of variables. Most attend to learn but some come to be entertained, some attend because they are required to and others because of convenience. Their reasons for attending, the quality of text materials and slides and the quality of the facility shape some of their opinions of the experience. This rarely explains, however, why some seem compelled to write personal criticisms.
I used to criticize others because it made me feel superior. Sometimes I did it out of ignorance and other times it was purposeful. Most times it was because I saw in others what I disliked in myself! I disliked many people because they were much like me!
Maybe you've heard the saying, "We like to judge others because of their behavior but want others to judge us based on our intentions." That was (and still sometimes is) me! Several years ago when I was head usher at a church, a woman attended whose behavior was bizarre. After several months of trying to love her as Christians are directed to do, my wife and I talked to our pastor about her behavior and questioned why he hadn't corrected her. Our pastor listened to our criticism and then asked us some piercing questions. "What do you know about her and her background?" "Have you invited her to your home or some of your social events?" "Do you have any idea of why she behaves in these ways?" Slinking out his office door, we realized we had been judging this person simply be what she did and said, not by who she really was.
I read an article by Rick Joyner (www.morningstarministries.org) recently in which he encouraged readers to see others as God sees them. He explained that God sees us, not as we are, but as who and what we can become. God's ways are different than ours, but we can change! How we see others contributes to who they become! Try it sometime!
Saturday, December 12, 2009
You Can Get Free From Fear!
My wife and I have two Labrador Retrievers, Sarah and Isaac. Isaac is the first-born son of Sarah and he's my dog. In fact, he worships me! From the time he was a pup (he's 12 now) he was 6 inches from my heels. When I'd come from a trip, he'd whine and whimper with a smile on his face because he was so glad to see me.
When he was younger, Isaac had some bad habits; he liked to eat my wife's socks, not mine just hers. I'd swat him with a newspaper when he did this but he loved me anyway. One day he found a printer ink cartridge under my desk and you can guess the rest. Ink all over the beige carpet! In my anger, I swatted him with the newspaper several times, and harder than usual as I scolded him. Out of fear, he bared his teeth and snarled at me for the first time. At that moment, he didn't worship me!
We humans are not that much different. Fear causes us to do crazy things, the least of which is to push us into the fight or flight mode. At those times, we can lose touch with reality. Like Isaac, sometimes we respond out of instinct. The difference is that you and I respond out of what is in our hearts.
Kenny Huffman beat up on me when I was in the third grade and I couldn't fight back. For most of my life after that, when I was threatened by someone or something I bared my teeth and snarled. I was quick to throw the first punch so to speak, verbal not physical. It took me 45 years to learn I couldn't break free of the fear in my heart on my own.
I don't know what is in your heart this Christmas season that may be causing you to fear. The Bible says the root of all fear is the fear of death. If you haven't already, this Christmas season make sure you accept God's free gift, Jesus Christ. When you ask him into your heart, His Holy Spirit will begin to heal and remove the root of fear, eternal death. Snarl no more! Enjoy His peace! (John 14:27: "Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid."
When he was younger, Isaac had some bad habits; he liked to eat my wife's socks, not mine just hers. I'd swat him with a newspaper when he did this but he loved me anyway. One day he found a printer ink cartridge under my desk and you can guess the rest. Ink all over the beige carpet! In my anger, I swatted him with the newspaper several times, and harder than usual as I scolded him. Out of fear, he bared his teeth and snarled at me for the first time. At that moment, he didn't worship me!
We humans are not that much different. Fear causes us to do crazy things, the least of which is to push us into the fight or flight mode. At those times, we can lose touch with reality. Like Isaac, sometimes we respond out of instinct. The difference is that you and I respond out of what is in our hearts.
Kenny Huffman beat up on me when I was in the third grade and I couldn't fight back. For most of my life after that, when I was threatened by someone or something I bared my teeth and snarled. I was quick to throw the first punch so to speak, verbal not physical. It took me 45 years to learn I couldn't break free of the fear in my heart on my own.
I don't know what is in your heart this Christmas season that may be causing you to fear. The Bible says the root of all fear is the fear of death. If you haven't already, this Christmas season make sure you accept God's free gift, Jesus Christ. When you ask him into your heart, His Holy Spirit will begin to heal and remove the root of fear, eternal death. Snarl no more! Enjoy His peace! (John 14:27: "Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid."
Saturday, October 10, 2009
If I Don't Toot My Horn No One Will
I spent most of my life trying to make my way. I was aggressive, self-confident and, frankly, prideful. I was proud of what I had accomplished and I was quick to tell you so. I believed that nothing good happened to me unless I made it happen. That worked well until one day I awoke to find all I thought I had slipped through my fingers into failure.
Not once but several times in my life I got caught up in what some call the rat race. None of those situations succeeded. While we should work hard to achieve our life goals, we must be aware that our original intent and purposes can take a back seat to satisfying our personal needs for achievement. This is the test of success!
Our achievements satisfy a need for recognition and acceptance inherent in many of us. It's much like a narcotic or alcohol; it makes us feel good and we want more! Soon, achieving becomes our goal instead of what we set out to do. Everything and everyone around us blurs as we set our sites on the next accomplishment.
People that behave as I once did aren't hard to spot. No matter what they say, every project, every relationship and every action is calculated to benefit themselves. Self-aggrandizement, self-promotion and self-centeredness are words that describe this behavior.
Sometimes this behavior is subtle and hard to spot. The person it controls is often at the center of the "now" thing, often is seen associating with higher ups and appears very popular. Many fail to discern the true heart motives of such persons and are caught up in the feigned enthusiasm and success of self-promoters only to be used and discarded. Once the ant enters the spider's web, only pain will follow!
Beware of the unethical behavior of the self-promoter! From such, flee! Post a comment and tell us about your experiences with such persons.
Not once but several times in my life I got caught up in what some call the rat race. None of those situations succeeded. While we should work hard to achieve our life goals, we must be aware that our original intent and purposes can take a back seat to satisfying our personal needs for achievement. This is the test of success!
Our achievements satisfy a need for recognition and acceptance inherent in many of us. It's much like a narcotic or alcohol; it makes us feel good and we want more! Soon, achieving becomes our goal instead of what we set out to do. Everything and everyone around us blurs as we set our sites on the next accomplishment.
People that behave as I once did aren't hard to spot. No matter what they say, every project, every relationship and every action is calculated to benefit themselves. Self-aggrandizement, self-promotion and self-centeredness are words that describe this behavior.
Sometimes this behavior is subtle and hard to spot. The person it controls is often at the center of the "now" thing, often is seen associating with higher ups and appears very popular. Many fail to discern the true heart motives of such persons and are caught up in the feigned enthusiasm and success of self-promoters only to be used and discarded. Once the ant enters the spider's web, only pain will follow!
Beware of the unethical behavior of the self-promoter! From such, flee! Post a comment and tell us about your experiences with such persons.
Thursday, March 26, 2009
THE BEHAVIOR OF MAN
Our life experiences both good and bad, along with the influence of one’s culture and genetic makeup, result in behavioral patterns that can be identified by several different personality inventory systems. One such system, called the Personal Profile System by Dr. John Geier, often referred to as the DISC model of behavior, is widely used to assess the strengths and weaknesses in one’s behavior. The book, Understanding How Others Misunderstand You, by Ken Voges & Ron Braund discusses the four behavioral styles:
D ominant & Decisive--Goal: Authority and Action
I nfluencing & Interactive--Goal: Persuasion & Popularity
S teadiness & Supportive--Goal: Cooperation & Caring
C ompliant & Cautious--Goal: Conscientious & Consistent
While every person may possess some of each of these styles, a person tends to function in the style that is most comfortable, especially when under stress. A person’s style is neither good nor bad and can be a strength or a weakness depending on how and when it is applied. Because our behavior is mostly learned, most of it can be changed. As one matures and his or her character is developed, the person’s predominant style may be altered. Unless there is conscious effort made to change, however, most people subconsciously default to their “comfort-zone” style.
So, what does all this have to do with ethics? Simply, a code of ethics or conduct is behavior that begins with what one believes in their heart. A harden criminal, for example, could not be influenced by a written code of conduct. On the other hand, a person with a “live and let live” philosophy could not be expected to report an ethics violator. Our behavioral style influences our personal ethics, i.e., “who we are.” Understanding our behaviors helps us understand others. Understanding the behavior and ethics of co-workers, business contacts and friends can empower us to chose relationships carefully and can have direct effects on our future and success.
D ominant & Decisive--Goal: Authority and Action
I nfluencing & Interactive--Goal: Persuasion & Popularity
S teadiness & Supportive--Goal: Cooperation & Caring
C ompliant & Cautious--Goal: Conscientious & Consistent
While every person may possess some of each of these styles, a person tends to function in the style that is most comfortable, especially when under stress. A person’s style is neither good nor bad and can be a strength or a weakness depending on how and when it is applied. Because our behavior is mostly learned, most of it can be changed. As one matures and his or her character is developed, the person’s predominant style may be altered. Unless there is conscious effort made to change, however, most people subconsciously default to their “comfort-zone” style.
So, what does all this have to do with ethics? Simply, a code of ethics or conduct is behavior that begins with what one believes in their heart. A harden criminal, for example, could not be influenced by a written code of conduct. On the other hand, a person with a “live and let live” philosophy could not be expected to report an ethics violator. Our behavioral style influences our personal ethics, i.e., “who we are.” Understanding our behaviors helps us understand others. Understanding the behavior and ethics of co-workers, business contacts and friends can empower us to chose relationships carefully and can have direct effects on our future and success.
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